Welcome to Class 79 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men. I am Daniel Whyte III, chairman of the National Association to Save Young Black Men in partnership with the Martin Luther King Senior Institute for Young Men & Young Women. The Institute aims to honor the legacy of Martin Luther King Sr., commonly referred to as “Daddy King”, whom God used to raise the great leader, Martin Luther King Jr. Our purpose is to guide young men and young women, and help them get on the path to becoming kings and queens for the glory of God.
I am your instructor for this course and the author of the ESSENCE national bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Men”. We are using that book as the text and its study guide to guide you through the course. The study guide was developed with the help of Jamie McCallum (M.Div, Truett Theological Seminary), Charles Garrett (M.Div, Southwestern Theological Seminary), and now my youngest son Danyel Ezekiel Whyte who is in his third year of college. This course is for all young men, but especially for young black men and young men of color who oftentimes have a “difficult journey” in this great country called America. I call this class “the Ramp” to the Highway of Success because my goal is to get you on “the Ramp”. As a man, you ought to be able to make it from there. Out of respect for you as a young man, my job is to get you on the ramp and point you in the right direction, not to tell you all the details once you get onto the highway of success. With God, you can do great things.
— Let’s Pray —
This lesson is titled “Women Folk #2.”
In this letter, I want to shift gears a little and add some good points to a letter I wrote to you in Letters to Young Black Men. It is the letter that I entitled “Women Folk!” Now, to my surprise, mothers, fathers, and men loved this letter, but many young wives and young women did not care for it that much. However, they handled it better than I expected. Well, this letter will be just as controversial, but at the same time just as helpful. The responses will probably be the same across the board.
After preaching in a church in Germany, and while eating dinner with the pastor and his wife at their home after the service, here’s what this dear pastor’s wife told us at the dinner table: Daniel, let me tell you something about women—it is the nature of women to want the control and reigns of the relationship. Now she will not know what to do with the reigns of the relationship, but she wants them. Deep down in her heart of hearts, she wants you to take the lead, but she will never let you know that. If she gets the reigns of the relationship she will not give them up without a fierce fight. You must be a man and take the reigns from the get go and keep them, and you will have less trouble in your marriage.
With that said, here are some more things that you need to know regarding the women folk. If any of the things mentioned here are not happening, she is violating the Word of God and making you and your children miserable.
What should you expect from a good woman based upon the Word of God?
1. She should be a help to you and not a hindrance. If she is tearing down everything that you are building up, she is not worth having. Genesis 2:18 says “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. Proverbs 14:1 says “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands”.
2. She ought to be trustworthy. If you can’t trust your woman, she is not worth having. Proverbs 31:11 says “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil”.
3. She should be industrious and a good keeper at home. A lazy woman will not be of any benefit to you. Proverbs 31:13 says “She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands”. Proverbs 31:27 says “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness”.
4. She ought to be eager to satisfy you sexually. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also her husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence”. Young brother, you should not have to beg, plead, and jump through hoops in order to have sex with your wife. She should do this enthusiastically.
5. She should voluntarily submit her will to yours without smirking, blowing, or rolling her eyes. Ephesians 5:22-23 says “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body”.
6. If you have to hit her, you don’t need her! I repeat: if you have to hit her, you don’t need her! If you have to hit her, you don’t need her!
7. If she cannot boil water before you marry her then do not marry her. She should know how to cook.
8. She should love you. Titus 2:4 says “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children”.
9. She should respect you. Ephesians 5:33 says “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”.
10. She should carry herself in a Godly manner. Titus 2:5 says “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husband, that the word of God be not blasphemed”.
In closing, Tony Dungy, the first black coach to win the Super Bowl and the host of NBC’s Sunday Night Football said, “You are never going to get anywhere in sports or in life until you become convinced of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You may become a professional athlete or have fame and nice cars and nice houses and a lot of money, but what you’ll find is that all of that stuff goes away pretty quickly. You have to understand that Christ died for our sins, and that He died not just to be our Savior but so that He could be the center of our lives.”
Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what the church people I grew up around said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, gospellightsociety.com. Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.
First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”
Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.
Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.
If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, I’ll see you for our next class.