Welcome to Class 82 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young women. I am Daniel Whyte III, president of Gospel Light Society, working in partnership with the Martin Luther King Senior Institute for Young Men & Young Women. The Institute aims to honor the legacy of Martin Luther King Sr., commonly referred to as “Daddy King”, whom God used to raise the great leader, Martin Luther King Jr. Our purpose is to guide young men and young women, and help them get on the path to becoming kings and queens for the glory of God.
I am your instructor for this course and the author of the ESSENCE Magazine bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Men” and the national bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Women.” My wife, Meriqua Whyte, and my eldest daughter, Daniella Whyte, co-authored “Letters to Young Black Women” with me. My daughter (who has two bachelor’s degrees in psychology and religion and a master’s degree in human services counseling—executive leadership and a second master’s degree in developmental psychology) and her mother, developed the Study Guide. We are using Letters to Young Black Women and its study guide to guide you through this course. This course is for all young women, but especially for young black women and young women of color who oftentimes face disadvantages that others do not. The goal of this class is to help you operate from a position of strength and power based upon the Word of God so you can be victorious in life. My prayer is that this class will empower you to win against your enemies: the devil, sorry men, and even yourself.
Today, we will continue our study, “ON REMAINING A VIRGIN UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED” (Letter Twenty-Five).
— First, Let’s Pray —
Allow me to begin with a quote from J. Budziszewski. He said: “According to research, the more hours a man and woman spend alone together, even if they begin with a firm intention of chastity, the further they tend to go and the more likely they are to lose control completely. Hearing this, most Christian young people have the good sense to see that couples who really want to remain chaste need to limit their time alone. That’s realism. Unfortunately, the more time they’ve been spending alone, the less obvious such realism will be to them. The solution is that they need to set their limits firmly at the beginning of their relationship, while their heads are still clear and realism is easier to achieve. …Listen, God invented sexual arousal. But for what purpose? To prepare your bodies for sex. Leading to sex is what sexual arousal is for. Don’t say, ‘We’ll do things that sexually arouse us, but we won’t let them lead to sex.’ That’s like turning on powerful rocket motors but saying, “Don’t lift off.” The solution? Avoid the things that arouse you! If sex is only for marriage, sexual arousal must be too.”
Now, please pull out your text and your digital study guide or follow along on the screen. First, I will read a portion of the corresponding letter from the book, Letters to Young Black Women. Then we will proceed with this lesson:
Here are four reasons why you ought not to have sex before marriage:
1. It will cost you more than it will cost him. I know it’s not fair, but it is true. It’s kind of like the story of the chicken and the pig. The chicken came to the pig and said, “Let’s provide a good breakfast for Farmer John by giving him some good old bacon and eggs. You can provide the bacon, and I can provide the eggs.” The pig said, “That sounds good. However, yours is just a donation; mine is a complete sacrifice.” In this story, you, young lady, are the pig.
2. It will break your fellowship with God and steal your joy, peace, and moral authority. You don’t want that.
3. You can get pregnant. He will probably go on to marry somebody else, and go on with the rest of his life. You will have a constant reminder of your moral failure, and remember: the child is never illegitimate — the parents are. The child is a gift from God.
4. It can cause you untold heartache and pain throughout your life.
How to avoid having sex before marriage:
1. Never put yourself in a compromising position.
2. Never send the wrong signal to the opposite sex.
3. Make up your mind what you are going to do before the temptation comes, and as sure as I am black and my last name Whyte, the temptation is going to come.
4. Never travel or go places alone. Always go with your sisters, or your girlfriends — better yet, go with your big brother.
5. Stay with your parents until you get married, and obey the rules of their house. For example, in such a situation, Tyrone can’t stay until 11:00 at night, and you can’t stay at Tyrone’s house until 11:00 at night. Never disrespect your parents, no matter how old you are.
P.T. (Power Thoughts):
“You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom into more.” —Oprah Winfrey
“A life of peace, purity, and refinement leads to a calm and untroubled old age.” —Cicero
“It is well to think well; it is divine to act well.” —Horace Mann
“I married the first man I ever kissed.” —Barbara Bush
“Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.” —Selected
BIBLE GEM: “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” —1 Corinthians 6:19 & 20
TALK TO GOD: Holy Father, I pray that You would help me to be the woman that You want me to be. Help me to remain a virgin and to abstain from all sexual activities before marriage. Thank You for Your love and help. In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.
BOOK: In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man, by Michelle McKinney Hammond
CHECK IT OUT: http://www.ceeceemichaela.com
In his sermon “Biblical Principles for Finding a Spouse, Genesis 23-25”, Randy Smith said, “The Bible is clear that sexual intimacy is to be reserved exclusively between husband and wife. Within marriage it’s beautiful. Outside of marriage it’s destructive. The wrong question asked by dating couples is, ‘How close can we go to that line without sinning?’ A better question is, ‘How far can I flee from potential sin in fear of getting burned?’” Dear daughters, please do not allow mankind’s widespread perversion of God’s world to pull you away from the righteous belief and understanding of this fact: that since God made the world and everything in it including you as both a spiritual and sexual being, specifically including your hormones and the sexual impulses in your spirit and body, He knows what and when is the best use for sex and He has divine reason as for why. Just as you trust that the constructor of your car intrinsically knows more about it than you do, so you must trust that God as Supreme Creator has superior knowledge of your body and every aspect of your life —from the spiritual to sexual. Therefore, what He says (as outlined in the Bible, His manual for life on earth so graciously given to us) goes, whether you agree with it or not. As a christian believer, a daughter of the King, you should not be asking “how far can we go sexually without sinning” when in a relationship? This is how unbelievers, lost people who do not consider the love and commandments of their Heavenly Father, think.
As Richard and Sharon Phillips write in Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, “A typical mistake made by Christian singles is to ask, ‘How far can we go?’ The very question reveals a troubling attitude, and the one who asks it has already gone too far. But since it is the question that many really want to ask, this is an honest response to the Bible’s teaching: ‘Not very far at all.’ Physical, sexual interaction between a man and a woman is reserved for marriage. Too many Christians believe that so long as full-blown sexual intercourse is resisted, other forms of sexual interaction are acceptable. But such an attitude is far out of line with the Bible. …Far from inviting us to play around as much as possible and as close to the fire as we can without getting burned, [the Bible] makes it clear that a sincere Christian will cultivate the highest moral and sexual purity, as essential to his or her worship of God [1 Thes. 4:3-5; Eph. 5:3-5].” When you are visited by the temptation to engage in sexual activity with your boyfriend before marriage, consider the questions posed in Proverbs 6:27-28: “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?” Well, of course not. When you toy with sexual sin, you will suffer every time.
In the next class, we will begin our study, “NOT GIVING IN: MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE by Joslyn Neblett.”
Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what church people said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, gospellightsociety.com. Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.
First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”
Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.
Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.
God bless you and keep you until we meet for our next class.