Class 79 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men

Welcome to Class 79 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men. I am Daniel Whyte III, chairman of the National Association to Save Young Black Men in partnership with the Martin Luther King Senior Institute for Young Men & Young Women. The Institute aims to honor the legacy of Martin Luther King Sr., commonly referred to as “Daddy King”, whom God used to raise the great leader, Martin Luther King Jr. Our purpose is to guide young men and young women, and help them get on the path to becoming kings and queens for the glory of God.

I am your instructor for this course and the author of the ESSENCE national bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Men”. We are using that book as the text and its study guide to guide you through the course. The study guide was developed with the help of Jamie McCallum (M.Div, Truett Theological Seminary), Charles Garrett (M.Div, Southwestern Theological Seminary), and now my youngest son Danyel Ezekiel Whyte who is in his third year of college. This course is for all young men, but especially for young black men and young men of color who oftentimes have a “difficult journey” in this great country called America. I call this class “the Ramp” to the Highway of Success because my goal is to get you on “the Ramp”. As a man, you ought to be able to make it from there. Out of respect for you as a young man, my job is to get you on the ramp and point you in the right direction, not to tell you all the details once you get onto the highway of success. With God, you can do great things.

— Let’s Pray —

This lesson is titled “Women Folk #2.”

In this letter, I want to shift gears a little and add some good points to a letter I wrote to you in Letters to Young Black Men. It is the letter that I entitled “Women Folk!” Now, to my surprise, mothers, fathers, and men loved this letter, but many young wives and young women did not care for it that much. However, they handled it better than I expected. Well, this letter will be just as controversial, but at the same time just as helpful. The responses will probably be the same across the board.

After preaching in a church in Germany, and while eating dinner with the pastor and his wife at their home after the service, here’s what this dear pastor’s wife told us at the dinner table: Daniel, let me tell you something about women—it is the nature of women to want the control and reigns of the relationship. Now she will not know what to do with the reigns of the relationship, but she wants them. Deep down in her heart of hearts, she wants you to take the lead, but she will never let you know that. If she gets the reigns of the relationship she will not give them up without a fierce fight. You must be a man and take the reigns from the get go and keep them, and you will have less trouble in your marriage.

With that said, here are some more things that you need to know regarding the women folk. If any of the things mentioned here are not happening, she is violating the Word of God and making you and your children miserable.

LESSON

What should you expect from a good woman based upon the Word of God?

1. She should be a help to you and not a hindrance. If she is tearing down everything that you are building up, she is not worth having. Genesis 2:18 says “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. Proverbs 14:1 says “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands”.

2. She ought to be trustworthy. If you can’t trust your woman, she is not worth having. Proverbs 31:11 says “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil”.

3. She should be industrious and a good keeper at home. A lazy woman will not be of any benefit to you. Proverbs 31:13 says “She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands”. Proverbs 31:27 says “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness”.

4. She ought to be eager to satisfy you sexually. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also her husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence”. Young brother, you should not have to beg, plead, and jump through hoops in order to have sex with your wife. She should do this enthusiastically.

5. She should voluntarily submit her will to yours without smirking, blowing, or rolling her eyes. Ephesians 5:22-23 says “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body”.

6. If you have to hit her, you don’t need her! I repeat: if you have to hit her, you don’t need her! If you have to hit her, you don’t need her!

7. If she cannot boil water before you marry her then do not marry her. She should know how to cook.

8. She should love you. Titus 2:4 says “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children”.

9. She should respect you. Ephesians 5:33 says “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”.

10. She should carry herself in a Godly manner. Titus 2:5 says “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husband, that the word of God be not blasphemed”.

Let’s Pray.

***
In closing, Tony Dungy, the first black coach to win the Super Bowl and the host of NBC’s Sunday Night Football said, “You are never going to get anywhere in sports or in life until you become convinced of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You may become a professional athlete or have fame and nice cars and nice houses and a lot of money, but what you’ll find is that all of that stuff goes away pretty quickly. You have to understand that Christ died for our sins, and that He died not just to be our Savior but so that He could be the center of our lives.”

Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what the church people I grew up around said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, gospellightsociety.com. Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.

First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.

If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, I’ll see you for our next class.

Class 78 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men

Welcome to Class 78 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men. I am Daniel Whyte III, chairman of the National Association to Save Young Black Men in partnership with the Martin Luther King Senior Institute for Young Men & Young Women. The Institute aims to honor the legacy of Martin Luther King Sr., commonly referred to as “Daddy King”, whom God used to raise the great leader, Martin Luther King Jr. Our purpose is to guide young men and young women, and help them get on the path to becoming kings and queens for the glory of God.

I am your instructor for this course and the author of the ESSENCE national bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Men”. We are using that book as the text and its study guide to guide you through the course. The study guide was developed with the help of Jamie McCallum (M.Div, Truett Theological Seminary), Charles Garrett (M.Div, Southwestern Theological Seminary), and now my youngest son Danyel Ezekiel Whyte who is in his third year of college. This course is for all young men, but especially for young black men and young men of color who oftentimes have a “difficult journey” in this great country called America. I call this class “the Ramp” to the Highway of Success because my goal is to get you on “the Ramp”. As a man, you ought to be able to make it from there. Out of respect for you as a young man, my job is to get you on the ramp and point you in the right direction, not to tell you all the details once you get onto the highway of success. With God, you can do great things.

— Let’s Pray —

This lesson is titled “Oh, The Joys I’ve Had.”

Dear Y.B.M.: “Happiness depends on the happenings, but having joy does not depend on the circumstances. Joy comes from God and you better get some.” I pray that you are not in any trouble. I apologize for staying on trouble so long, but sometimes trouble comes double. In my previous letter, I shared some of my mistakes, failures and troubles in hopes that you will not make them. Now, I want to share with you how God delivered me from fleeting happiness to permanent joy. Then, I want to share with you the three greatest joys of my life.

Up until December 19, 1979, at the age of nineteen, my happiness was dependent on what was happening. You know what I am talking about. You have been there. When I was a little boy, if the sun was shining and the sky was blue, I was happy; but if the clouds covered the sun and the day was overcast, I was sad. When I was playing football, I was happy; when I was made to go to choir rehearsal, I was sad. When I could stay at home and watch the Dallas Cowboys play, I was happy; when I had to go to church, I was sad. As I grew a little older, when I was drinking and partying, I was happy; the next day, I was sad. That was how I lived my life up until December 19, 1979, because on that memorable day I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour.

Now, remember that I told you earlier how I used to hate preachers and churches. Well, on that night, December 19, 1979, a young man, by the name of Michael Lewis, came to my dorm room on Kessler Air Force Base around 8:00 p.m., and showed me from the Bible how to truly be saved from hell. Even though I had been in church all of my life, this was the first time anyone took the time to show me from the Bible how to be saved from hell. I accepted Jesus Christ that night and God completely filled my life with joy—“A joy the world can’t take away.” I am telling you the truth. That joy has never left me since I accepted Christ as my Saviour. Every day has been and is a sunshiny day, as far as I am concerned. It is truly a “joy unspeakable.” The Lord will do the same thing for you as well. There is nothing like having God’s joy. It will beat happiness every time. Since that time, God has added joy to joy. My three greatest joys in life are:

1. Knowing the Lord as Saviour, and my relationship with Him through prayer and through His eternal Word.

2. My family.There is no other place on God’s green earth where I would rather be than home with my family. I really mean that.

3. My third greatest joy in life is doing something that matters beyond my life span. Jesus gave me a purpose to live for, and that purpose is to serve Him with all my heart, mind, soul, and body. By the grace of God, by the time I was thirty-three, I had traveled around the world preaching the Gospel. I had also written several books and edited a Christian magazine. It is my prayer that you will be a man who has the same joy in your life as I have in mine.

LESSON

George Bernard Shaw said, “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.”

Henry Nouwen said, “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”

Richard Wagner said, “Joy is not in things; it is in us.”

Paige Ferrari said:

Joy is usually synonymous with happiness. But even in day-to-day conversations, we make the distinction that happiness and joy are two very separate things. If I describe someone as a joyful person, that doesn’t mean to say that they are happy all of the time; it means that there is joy that flows out of them and reveals its face in the form of happiness.

Joy is a choice.

Rick Warren gave us this definition of joy: “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.”

The two parts of his definition are “quiet confidence” and “determined choice.” We feel a sense of joy when we praise God and know that He is in control is a daily, minute-by-minute choice. When we rest in joy, we are truly able to acknowledge the one who is in control of it all.

Let’s Pray.

***
In closing, Tony Dungy, the first black coach to win the Super Bowl and the host of NBC’s Sunday Night Football said, “You are never going to get anywhere in sports or in life until you become convinced of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You may become a professional athlete or have fame and nice cars and nice houses and a lot of money, but what you’ll find is that all of that stuff goes away pretty quickly. You have to understand that Christ died for our sins, and that He died not just to be our Savior but so that He could be the center of our lives.”

Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what the church people I grew up around said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, gospellightsociety.com. Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.

First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.

If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, I’ll see you for our next class.

Class 77 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men

Welcome to Class 77 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men. I am Daniel Whyte III, chairman of the National Association to Save Young Black Men in partnership with the Martin Luther King Senior Institute for Young Men & Young Women. The Institute aims to honor the legacy of Martin Luther King Sr., commonly referred to as “Daddy King”, whom God used to raise the great leader, Martin Luther King Jr. Our purpose is to guide young men and young women, and help them get on the path to becoming kings and queens for the glory of God.

I am your instructor for this course and the author of the ESSENCE national bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Men”. We are using that book as the text and its study guide to guide you through the course. The study guide was developed with the help of Jamie McCallum (M.Div, Truett Theological Seminary), Charles Garrett (M.Div, Southwestern Theological Seminary), and now my youngest son Danyel Ezekiel Whyte who is in his third year of college. This course is for all young men, but especially for young black men and young men of color who oftentimes have a “difficult journey” in this great country called America. I call this class “the Ramp” to the Highway of Success because my goal is to get you on “the Ramp”. As a man, you ought to be able to make it from there. Out of respect for you as a young man, my job is to get you on the ramp and point you in the right direction, not to tell you all the details once you get onto the highway of success. With God, you can do great things.

— Let’s Pray —

This is part 9 of our lesson titled “Oh, The Mistakes I’ve Made.”

Another time that I really hurt my mother (and this relates to the point of my running with the wrong crowd and not thinking for myself), was when my boys and I took my mother’s car to go steal some beer, run some women, and party. Well, everything would have been fine if I had not run the car into the front of the store building in an attempt to get away from the store manager and the police. I guess I was so nervous I put the car into drive instead of reverse when we were trying to make our get-away. I crashed into one of the pillars in the front of the building nearly bringing down one side of the canopy.Although we escaped and went on with the partying, in the back of my mind, I was figuring out how I was going to explain to my mother the huge dent in her new Granada. (Back then the Granada was the black man’s Mercedes.) Well, the gang and I came up with a plan: we would get a rubber hammer and beat the dent out while she was at work at the telephone company in New Bern, N.C. The fellows and I got together, decided to skip school that day, and we went to my mother’s job, with the rubber hammer, where we started beating the dent out of the Granada. It was around 10:00 a.m., and it just so happened to be my mother’s break-time. She was passing by the only window that was in the building when she saw us beating on her new Granada. I believe my mother was more hurt than angry. But she was enough of both to kill me if she could have gotten away with murder. My mother actually came to my bedroom that night and told me if I didn’t straighten up I was going to a reformatory school. Her tone of voice left no doubt in my mind that she was very serious. I didn’t know what a reformatory school was, but I knew I didn’t want to go there. This was just another instance when I should have avoided trying to be cool and run with the gang, but instead should have followed my own mind.

LESSON

1. Think for yourself and lead others in the right way. Never be a follower, and never condone or be an accomplice to wrongdoing. Matthew 7:13 says, “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat”.

2. Don’t think that running with the wrong crowd is cool. Remember, Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seemeth right to a man; but the ends thereof are ways of death.”

3. Honour your parents so much so that you won’t do negative things that would cause them shame, embarrassment, heartache, and loss. Proverbs 1:8 says, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother”. I am telling you while you are young that: it is cool to stay in school and learn; it is cool to run with positive people who are learning and growing; and it is cool to think for yourself.

Someone once said, “Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.”

Winston Churchill said, “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

Let’s Pray.

***
In closing, Tony Dungy, the first black coach to win the Super Bowl and the host of NBC’s Sunday Night Football said, “You are never going to get anywhere in sports or in life until you become convinced of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You may become a professional athlete or have fame and nice cars and nice houses and a lot of money, but what you’ll find is that all of that stuff goes away pretty quickly. You have to understand that Christ died for our sins, and that He died not just to be our Savior but so that He could be the center of our lives.”

Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what the church people I grew up around said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, gospellightsociety.com. Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.

First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.

If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, I’ll see you for our next class.

PODCAST: Class 76 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men with Daniel Whyte III

Welcome to Class 76 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men. I am Daniel Whyte III, chairman of the National Association to Save Young Black Men in partnership with the Martin Luther King Senior Institute for Young Men & Young Women. The Institute aims to honor the legacy of Martin Luther King Sr., commonly referred to as “Daddy King”, whom God used to raise the great leader, Martin Luther King Jr. Our purpose is to guide young men and young women, and help them get on the path to becoming kings and queens for the glory of God.

I am your instructor for this course and the author of the ESSENCE national bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Men”. We are using that book as the text and its study guide to guide you through the course. The study guide was developed with the help of Jamie McCallum (M.Div, Truett Theological Seminary), Charles Garrett (M.Div, Southwestern Theological Seminary), and now my youngest son Danyel Ezekiel Whyte who is in his third year of college. This course is for all young men, but especially for young black men and young men of color who oftentimes have a “difficult journey” in this great country called America. I call this class “the Ramp” to the Highway of Success because my goal is to get you on “the Ramp”. As a man, you ought to be able to make it from there. Out of respect for you as a young man, my job is to get you on the ramp and point you in the right direction, not to tell you all the details once you get onto the highway of success. With God, you can do great things.

— Let’s Pray —

This is part 8 of our lesson titled “Oh, The Mistakes I’ve Made.”

“One trouble with trouble is that it usually starts out like fun.” I trust that you are doing well. I hope that you have made the decision not to make any of the life-altering mistakes that I have made and thus suffer the troubles that I have experienced.

I am sure I surprised and broke my mother’s heart many times as a teenager, but there were two instances, in particular, when I really broke her heart. I have already told you about one situation and that was when the young woman and I made the awful mistake of aborting that baby. What I didn’t tell you was that, for some strange reason, my mother went into my little gray safe that I kept under my bed in my bedroom, and she found the receipt from the doctor’s office. She was livid. She was speechless. She was so hurt she could not even bring herself to punish me for what I had done. I knew then I had hurt her deeply.

LESSON

When a man doesn’t protect his preborn child, either by passively watching the woman in his life have an abortion or by pressuring her to, it can undermine his confidence in his manhood. Why? Because God created men to be protectors, just as women are nurturers.

To protect is a deep, God-given desire; when a man understands that he has violated God’s principle of protection through abortion, it can erode his ability to lead, both morally and spiritually.

The most important battle is when a man fights spiritually for those he loves. Unfortunately, when a man violates God’s law through abortion, his confidence is also impaired to engage in spiritual battle.

So, after permitting or even encouraging an abortion, how can a man take back the authority that God has given him to lead his family? Even though it can be a challenge, Scotty says a man needs to own his sin and receive God’s forgiveness.

If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, we will continue lessons in our next class.

Let’s Pray.

***
In closing, Tony Dungy, the first black coach to win the Super Bowl and the host of NBC’s Sunday Night Football said, “You are never going to get anywhere in sports or in life until you become convinced of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You may become a professional athlete or have fame and nice cars and nice houses and a lot of money, but what you’ll find is that all of that stuff goes away pretty quickly. You have to understand that Christ died for our sins, and that He died not just to be our Savior but so that He could be the center of our lives.”

Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what the church people I grew up around said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, gospellightsociety.com. Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.

First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.

If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, I’ll see you for our next class.

PODCAST: Class 75 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success Course for Young Men (with Daniel Whyte III)

Welcome to Class 75 of “The Ramp” to the Highway of Success course for young men. I am Daniel Whyte III, chairman of the National Association to Save Young Black Men in partnership with the Martin Luther King Senior Institute for Young Men & Young Women. The Institute aims to honor the legacy of Martin Luther King Sr., commonly referred to as “Daddy King”, whom God used to raise the great leader, Martin Luther King Jr. Our purpose is to guide young men and young women, and help them get on the path to becoming kings and queens for the glory of God.

I am your instructor for this course and the author of the ESSENCE national bestselling book “Letters to Young Black Men”. We are using that book as the text and its study guide to guide you through the course. The study guide was developed with the help of Jamie McCallum (M.Div, Truett Theological Seminary), Charles Garrett (M.Div, Southwestern Theological Seminary), and now my youngest son Danyel Ezekiel Whyte who is in his third year of college. This course is for all young men, but especially for young black men and young men of color who oftentimes have a “difficult journey” in this great country called America. I call this class “the Ramp” to the Highway of Success because my goal is to get you on “the Ramp”. As a man, you ought to be able to make it from there. Out of respect for you as a young man, my job is to get you on the ramp and point you in the right direction, not to tell you all the details once you get onto the highway of success. With God, you can do great things.

— Let’s Pray —

This is part 6 of our lesson titled “Oh, The Mistakes I’ve Made.”

If the young woman became pregnant, that created another set of problems, which are self-explanatory. One problem came up that haunts me to this very day—and it has been over thirty years now since it happened. I was seeing this one girl for sex repeatedly. To be honest, we were having a lot of fun together—until she got pregnant. We were very young— about fifteen. We both decided that it would be best to get an abortion. Somehow, I came up with the money and she and I went down to the doctor’s office and had the baby aborted. For some strange reason, the doctor wrapped the aborted baby in a napkin and gave it to her. Once we got in front of her house, we both looked at the aborted baby boy after which we placed him in the woods across the street from her home. Believe it or not, we both continued having sex and we did not stop until I got one of her best friends pregnant. Fortunately, for the child and for our own consciences, her best friend kept the baby. Later in life, after I got saved, I learned that what that young woman and I did was murder an innocent child. Every now and then, I think about that baby buried in the woods across the street from her house, and the guilt and shame is painful. The moral of that story, if you will is, when you break God’s law, God’s law has a tendency to break you.

Again, remember this verse! “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” —Galatians 6:7 3.

Even if you actually have children out of wedlock and things do not work out between you and the baby’s mother, as a father and as you get older, you suffer the pain and heartache of not having the privilege of loving and raising those children. Every now and then you will feel guilt and shame regarding that as well. So, young black man, do not have sex outside of marriage because trouble is sure to come.

LESSON

Joe Carter of the Gospel Coalition writes:

What should Christians do if they have a child out of wedlock? The first step it to seek, if necessary, God’s forgiveness for having sexual relations outside the bonds of matrimony. As John Piper says, “sexual relations belong only in the safe, holy, beautiful sanctuary of a marriage covenant between one man, one woman, while they both live. So, the presence of a child in the womb outside marriage is either the result of being sinned against in rape or the result of sinning.” (Piper also adds, “it is crucial that every Christian and every church make clear that any stigma to pregnancy outside marriage is because the pregnancy signifies previous sin, not because the pregnancy is sin.”) Second, the couple should stop cohabiting and, if possible, get married—even if one partner is an unbeliever. As Russell Moore says, “Even in repentance, you cannot simply “move on.” You are now, and forever will be, the father of her child. She is the mother of your baby You had a responsibility not to entangle yourself with an unbeliever. You had an obligation not to violate God’s command for sexual chastity outside of marriage. But you have done these things and you can’t turn back time. Your only question now is whether, in addition to being a fornicator, you will also be an orphan-maker. The Scripture also tells us we are to give to everyone what is due. What is due to the woman you have impregnated and the child you have conceived? The answer, I believe, is what our Father God models for us: provision, protection, and covenant faithfulness. A child is meant to have two parents, a mother and a father. Love this woman, and love this child.” Third, if marriage is not a viable option (e.g., one partner refuses to get married), both parents have an obligation to support the child. As Paul tells us, one who does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, we will continue lessons in our next class.

Let’s Pray.

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In closing, Tony Dungy, the first black coach to win the Super Bowl and the host of NBC’s Sunday Night Football said, “You are never going to get anywhere in sports or in life until you become convinced of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You may become a professional athlete or have fame and nice cars and nice houses and a lot of money, but what you’ll find is that all of that stuff goes away pretty quickly. You have to understand that Christ died for our sins, and that He died not just to be our Savior but so that He could be the center of our lives.”

Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what the church people I grew up around said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, gospellightsociety.com. Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.

First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.

If the Lord tarries His Coming and we live, I’ll see you for our next class.